


Deal

by Anshie



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canon-Compliant Castiel/Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, Dean Winchester Realizes Feelings For Castiel, Despair, Destiel - Freeform, Episode Fix-It: s15e19 Inherit the Earth, Fix-It, M/M, Spoilers, Spoilers for Episode: s15e18 Despair, Spoilers for Episode: s15e19 Inherit the Earth, alternative ending, carry on, fixed the end, inherit the earth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:21:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27763669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anshie/pseuds/Anshie
Summary: Jack restores the world to normal - which includes bringing back a certain angel!Main focus on Dean's thoughts and how he decides to confront Castiel.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 4
Kudos: 133





	Deal

**Author's Note:**

> Welp, I've never written a Supernatural fic even if I've been a fan for many years. But after finishing season 15, I just had to. Fixing endings is my speciality. 😏 But still, this is my first attempt on Supernatural so please don't be too harsh with me. I've tried to make my two fav characters as in character as possible and hopefully you will like it. ♥

The streets looked different after Jack had brought life back to earth. Birds singing, cars driving on the streets, humans following their daily businesses as if nothing had ever happened. But to the Winchesters, everything looked very different on this day. Much… brighter.  
  
It felt as if Jack emitted a light which spread all over the whole planet. And Jack himself appeared different to the brothers as well. Calmer and wiser in a way.  
  
"You gonna come back with us to the bunker?", Sam asked.  
  
"What do you mean, of course he's gonna come back to the bunker!" Dean answered with a confident voice before Jack got any chance to do so. "He's a man with a plan, he's top-"  
  
"One more thing-" Jack interrupted him, his smile never leaving his lips.  
  
"Before we go, don't you think something's still missing?"  
  
Both brothers were looking at him with questioning faces. Dean couldn't say what Sam was thinking, but when it came to himself, he instantly thought of something, but wasn't sure if that could really be what Jack was referring to. Could he do that? Well, he was basically the new god, even if they didn't say that out loud. But then again, when it came to the Empty, it was hard to say if-  
  
"Or…" Jack continued. "Some…one?" He raised his hand and snapped his fingers, before stepping to the side, revealing the person who had suddenly appeared right behind him.  
  
And there he was, standing in the middle of the street in bright daylight, trench coat neat and clean, no dirt or sweat or any other signs of previous fights on him.  
  
"Cas!" Sam was the first who shouted his name, but in the very same second, Dean was the first to move. He started with big steps which got only faster when he walked past Jack and only heard Castiel's quiet "Dean-", before he pulled him into a tight embrace.  
  
"Thank god," Castiel heard Dean whisper close to his shoulder. "No, seriously, thank god, man!"  
  
"Glad to see you, Cas," Sam greeted him after catching up with Dean and patted Castiel's shoulder.  
  
"Glad to see you, too," Cas answered with a nod. "All of you." It was only then, when Dean reluctantly let go of him and somehow, he felt that it has never been so damn hard to stop hugging his best friend. Because he seriously thought he had lost him forever.  
  
"Jack…" Castiel turned to the boy with a fatherly smile. "Thank you."  
  
Jack replied with his trademark bright smile. "Alright then? Time to go home!"  
  
~  
  
It was already late when Dean sat in the bunker, open whiskey bottle on the table, half empty glass in his hand. It was by far not the first glass of the evening but tonight it was just as far from enough to block out the million thoughts going through his head.  
  
He couldn't even describe his feelings. They did it! It was over. Finally, and for real this time. They were free. While this was exactly what he always wanted, it was also too hard to grasp and somehow, he knew it would still take a while to realize it. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe in a few days or weeks, on some random sunny day while eating a burger or pie… at some point the realisation would kick in. But right now, he was still too overwhelmed from everything that happened, to feel true happiness.  
  
True happiness. Ah well… That started another train of thoughts…  
  
 _"A moment of true happiness…"_ Castiel's words rang in his ears.  
  
Unsurprisingly, while in the middle of saving the world from god himself, you don't really spend much time thinking about love. And that's how it came that up to this point, Dean had simply been too busy to think about Castiel's words. But now that the day had come to an end there were so many questions in his head. They were causing a damn rollercoaster of feelings inside of him and he didn't know how to start and bring any order into this chaos. He wasn't exactly famous for keeping order anyway.  
  
He thought about the way Castiel had described him. In that very moment when it all happened, he had been too busy trying to get both of them out of that situation alive but now when he remembered the words, it left such a warm feeling in his chest. He was… touched? Deeply moved to hear how Castiel saw him. In a way he would never describe himself. It took him by surprise, but he definitely didn't dislike hearing someone talk about him in such a positive way. No, not _someone_. To hear _Cas_ talk about him like that. But again, instead of accepting and embracing it, Dean's mind instantly drifted into another direction.  
  
"Ah, c'mon on!", he mumbled to himself, shaking his head to bring himself back down to earth. "Am I that desperately fishing for compliments?" He reached out for the bottle and filled his glass once more.  
  
"Selfless and caring, my ass," he huffed and took a sip.  
  
Calling _Dean_ selfless and then sacrificing himself a second later. That was SO Cas. So typical. What an idiot… Did that guy ever think about himself? Apparently not, or else he wouldn't have simply decided that what he truly wanted was something he couldn't have, without even trying once.  
  
The one thing he wanted…  
It wasn't in the having…  
It was in just saying it…  
  
 _"I love you."  
_  
He heard Castiel's voice so clearly in his head as if he was standing right next to him, saying it again and again and it sent a shiver down Dean's spine.  
  
It didn't take much for him to realize that the reason why those words had such a surprisingly huge effect on him was because Castiel was the one saying them. Because Castiel had always been a special case. A case Dean never had enough the time to investigate, at least not when it came to his feelings. Yeah sure, Castiel had been around him for a long time. But again – hunters are busy people. Not much time to think about stuff like that. Especially when the person in question was, well… an angel. Dean remembered how Castiel was when they first met. It was true. He _had_ changed. He had turned into someone, Dean never wanted to miss by his side ever again.  
  
"Ah… shit-"  
  
Dean signed frustratedly, leaning forward to cup his head in his palms. It felt heavy. All these thoughts were like an extra weight.  
  
"Damn, Cas…"  
  
"Dean."  
  
"Jesus fucking Christ!", Dean hissed when he heard the familiar voice – this time for real – and shot up, turning around to see the angel standing in the room.  
  
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you," Castiel said with his typical monotonous voice while walking over to Dean, taking a seat in the free armchair next to him. "I heard you say my name, so I assumed you noticed me."  
  
"Yeah, sure man, I did, no problem," Dean lied without hesitating, grabbed another empty glass from the table to fill it and hand it over to Castiel. Definitely not only to have something else to look at and to avoid direct eye contact. But when Castiel took the glass, for a brief second Dean felt their fingers touching and it made his heart skip a beat. Okay, seriously, now, that was ridiculous. He was acting like a lovestruck middle school girl and he had to stop right now. He had questions? Alright, Cas had the answers, they were both grown-up men, so there was no damn problem at all, right? Right!  
  
"Sam's coming too?" Dean asked while still leaning forward hypnotising the glass he held in both hands.  
  
"He said he was tired and went to his room straight away after we left Jack's," Castiel answered.  
  
See? It wasn't that bad. Asking questions wasn't that difficult. No big deal.  
  
…  
  
And with that, minutes passed in silence. A sip now and then. A rustling noise of Castiel's trench coat when he moved.  
  
It had never been a problem for Dean to be quiet around Castiel. Although it didn't happen often – when had their lives ever been quiet? But now and then, when they sat together in the bunker after a finished hunt… him, Sam and Cas… sometimes it was nice to just say nothing even for Dean Winchester. To simply enjoy the moment while it lasted. Especially because moments like this had always been rare.  
  
So why did it drive him up the wall right now?  
  
It was Castiel who eventually broke the silence.  
  
"Dean."  
  
Dean looked up when hearing his name, but just to face the wall instead.  
  
"About what I said…"  
  
Dean's grip around the glass tightened. 'Okay, so here we go', he thought and couldn't deny that he didn't expect Castiel to address the topic on his own. To be honest he expected the other to keep quiet about it and never mention it ever again.  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
Wait, what? Sorry for what?  
  
As if reading his mind, Castiel continued: "I should have told you earlier about that deal I made."  
  
"Are you fucking serious…?"  
  
The words left Dean's lips, before he could think about them. A bad habit, which had gotten him into trouble more than often in the past.  
  
But really, was Cas seriously apologizing for not telling him about that deal now? 'I mean, yeah, that was stupid,' Dean thought. But what about his outright love confession? Anything to say about that? At this point, Dean started considering the possibility that he was just overthinking it all. What did _'I love you'_ even mean? Sure, Cas loved him. No problem, there. Dean loved him too. Just like he loved Sam. Except from… well, this had felt different. And Dean definitely, absolutely never felt his heart skip a beat just because he accidentally touched Sam's fingers. Definitely not.  
  
And it wasn't only about those three words. Them alone could mean anything. Brotherly, platonic love… or whatever. But there was still that one thing that Castiel wanted but couldn't have. That one thing which meant true happiness to him.  
  
Dean let out a sigh. What was he expecting? This was Cas. As if Cas would ever speak clearly about complicated things like feelings. Damn, for the longest time, Dean would have said, Castiel didn't even know anything about stuff like love.  
  
Dean laughed quietly to himself and took another sip.  
  
"You have all right to be angry at me, Dean," Castiel said and it was only now that Dean noticed, he must have gotten his lack of response wrong, so he tried to at least do some damage control.  
  
"Nah, Cas, it's fine," he sighed and raised his glass, finally turning around to look at the other. "I'm just glad you're still here, buddy."  
  
Oh shit, what was that now?  
  
While chinking glasses, Castiel's blue eyes didn't stop staring at Dean with the same expression as when they were trying to escape Billie. There was no wet shimmer of tears in them right now. But apart from that, it was exactly the same, deep, longing expression. Hypnotising…  
  
"Okay, stop it!" Dean suddenly said, averted his gaze and emptied his glass in one go. "Now don't you think there's something else we should be talking about?" he sounded angry without intending to and he didn't know why. Maybe it was more frustration than anger but neither of those feelings should be let out on Castiel.  
  
"I'm not sure what you're referring-…" Cas started but then stopped in the middle of the sentence, just staring at Dean without a word. Maybe because he knew that it was a cheap attempt and quite an obvious lie.  
  
Dean took a deep breath to calm himself down, while he went back to staring at the now empty glass in his hand. He was tempted to fill it again. Or tempted to simply grab the whole bottle and pour it down his throat to give himself some liquid courage. But he already had enough alcohol tonight. Or else he would never say what he was about to say.  
  
"If we… if Jack wouldn't have succeeded," he started quietly. "If we wouldn't have won… you'd be gone now, Cas."  
  
Another deep breath.  
  
"And the last words you said to me, would've been 'I love you'."  
  
There. He said it. And he even managed to turn back to look right into Castiel's eyes. Big achievement.  
  
"D'you think that's fair?"  
  
Castiel didn't answer. He simply stared back at Dean as if this was some new form of contest. Whoever looks away first, looses. Ha. Ha.  
  
"You're right, Dean," he finally said. "I'm sorry for that, too. I shouldn't have said that. But it was necessar-"  
  
"Goddammit, Cas!" Dean shouted and slammed his glass onto the table, getting up from his armchair. So much about staying calm. So much about damage control. "It's not about that. It's not about saying it or not saying it."  
  
Shit, how should he explain what bothered him, when he didn't even know himself what made him so frustrated.  
  
"I-it's about how-" he tried again, looking down at Castiel almost helplessly, as if he was waiting for some sort of assistance, because he was just as bad with words as his angel friend who looked up at him with confused eyes.  
  
Dean gestured with his arms while turning around, walking a few steps, then turning around again…  
  
"Look- It's about what it MEANS that it was necessary. About what uhm- makes you truly happy", he stuttered. "Y-you just left me there with that- that's piece of information as if it was nothing important. Do you have any idea how that made me feel? I thought you were DEAD, Cas. I thought that's it. For real! I thought I'd never see you again and if it weren't for Jack, than that's exactly what would've happened."  
  
Oh, what would he give for just one glimpse into Castiel's thoughts. Because most of the time, Castiel managed to keep his poker face and Dean couldn't deny that he liked the rare moments when Castiel took it off. Except from when Castiel was crying, sacrificing his own life, of course. Obviously, he wasn't fond of that part of the story. But Dean liked when Castiel told him his true and honest feelings. He liked to see that Castiel trusted him enough to do so. He liked… _loved_ it… _him_. Something like that…  
  
"Sorry…" was all that Castiel answered, before getting up as well. "I understand… I've been…" He frowned, looking for the right words. "Inconsiderate. I wish I could have considered your feelings more, Dean. But I saw no other choice." He sighed and put his glass down on the table.  
  
"It's late. You should get some rest. Good night, Dean."  
  
And with that, he patted Dean's shoulder and walked past him to leave.  
  
Castiel cutting him off and simply walking away provoked Dean only more. How dare he try to avoid the topic, when it took all of Dean's courage to speak his mind. Dean knew, if he didn't finish what he just started, he'd never do it any other day. And probably regret it forever.  
  
Maybe it was the alcohol. Well, most certainly it was at least partly the alcohol, but also Dean's natural temperament which led to his next action.  
  
He turned around to grab Castiel's arm the moment the angel let it fall down from Dean's shoulder. With a swift movement, he grabbed Castiel's shoulder as well and pushed him backwards against the wall, blocking his escape route with his arms to both sides of his head.  
  
"Tell me, Cas," Dean mumbled with a serious voice which left no space for excuses. "Tell me what's that one thing you want but can't have, huh?"  
  
"Dean," Castiel sighed and when Dean leaned in against the wall, he felt Castiel's breath on his face. There it was again… his heart was racing.  
  
"Dean, let go of me. You're drunk. You should rest."  
  
"TELL ME!" Dean yelled and slammed his fist against the wall next to Castiel's head.  
  
He _was_ drunk. Even if it would take several more drinks to make him feel dizzy or blur his mind – he was still thinking clearly. But on the other hand, he had enough to not think much about his actions. Otherwise, he wouldn't yell like that and risk waking up Sam and Jack.  
  
"Tell me what it is, Cas," he repeated with his voice lowered again and let his head hang down. He went from demanding to almost begging within seconds. Incredible. But all those different facets of emotions were also one reason why Castiel loved him so much. "Please… Say it, Cas!"  
  
Castiel looked at the man in front of him, who had nailed him against the wall and looked so desperate over something Castiel never thought that it would rattle him so much. It made Castiel feel guilty. He, out of all people, should have known better. After all, he was the one who had told Dean how caring he was. Castiel should have known that Dean wouldn't let his words slip away as if nothing ever happened. Maybe that was why Castiel wouldn't have said them, if not in the face of death. But now here they were. Alive. And there was no way back. Castiel knew that. He closed his eyes for a brief moment, a smile showing that he accepted his defeat formed on his lips before he started speaking.  
  
"It's you, Dean."  
  
Dean instantly raised his head, his eyes widened and mouth half open when he stared at Castiel as if he saw a ghost.  
  
"The one thing I always wanted is you," Castiel continued without any hesitation in his voice. "Nothing could make me happier than being w-"  
  
"That's enough-" Dean suddenly interrupted him and within the blink of an eye he grabbed Castiel by the collar and pulled him close, pressing their lips together almost violently. He couldn't see how Castiel's eyes were wide open in shock, but he could hear him making a short, surprised "Mh-?" sound.  
  
Castiel's confession wasn't really a surprise at this point, but still, Dean needed to make that clear before simply kissing him. Nevertheless, he pulled back quickly to see if Castiel showed any sign of rejection, because well, you never know. There was confusion in Castiel's eyes. He clearly didn't see that coming. But then his eyes wandered to Dean's lips before he closed them and Dean kissed him again, his lips moving impatiently against Castiel's, tongue pushing forward to taste what he'd been longing for.  
  
"Dean-", Castiel sighed against his lips and the hot breath Dean felt on his face drove him just as crazy as the hands suddenly touching his waist, then moving up to his back.  
  
"Sh-!" he made. "Shut up!"  
  
Admittedly, his aiming wasn't the best when he attacked Castiel's lips again and kissed him on the corner of his mouth, but he seriously couldn't care less. He was drunk and he was kissing Cas and that was the best thing he had ever decided to do while being drunk and it really didn't matter much which part of Castiel's face Dean's lips landed on. He wanted all of him anyway.  
  
Hungrily, Dean pushed himself closer, leaving no space between them and his hands which had been resting against the cold stone wall behind them, found their way to Castiel's face, cupping it, while deepening their kiss. Castiel's fingers were digging into the fabric of Dean's shirt and he couldn't be more glad to be trapped and held by Dean because otherwise he wasn't sure if he could've kept his balance.  
  
"Dean-" he sighed in pleasure between more and more kisses, he felt hot, almost feverish, and for the first time in all his life, his mind went completely blank. All he could think of was Dean. Dean kissing him. Dean's lips, Dean's smell, Dean's voice moaning deeply between kisses and pressing their bodies closer together. It almost made him cry out of happiness. Yes, maybe true happiness was not _only_ in the having. But he definitely won't complain about having this, either. Castiel brought his hand up to Dean's neck and further to the back of his head, fingers running through his hair and another quiet moan escaped him, when Dean's mouth left his lips, just to kiss his cheek, his ear, his jawline and finally his neck. "Dean-" he whispered his name again, his whole body trembling. How was that even possible? How could a single human being spark such a fire inside of him? A feeling he had never ever known in all those countless years. Dean didn't only change him. Dean drove him absolutely crazy.  
  
"Cas…" Dean sounded breathless, almost like in a trance when he moved back just enough to look into Castiel's eyes. One hand was stroking over Castiel's cheek, the other fumbling on the collar of his trench coat and then slipping under it, pulling it down slightly over Castiel's shoulder. "Let's move to my bedroom."  
  
~  
  
The annoying sound of the alarm clock announced eight o'clock in the morning.  
  
Dean's hand reached out for his nightstand aimlessly and it took a few attempts until he managed to silence the noise. His hand fell back on the bed and he almost drifted back to sleep. But then he noticed a slight difference from his usual wake-up routine. There was a weight on his waist. And that was enough to make him wake up fully, remember what happened and-  
  
"Good morning, Dean."  
  
Oh shit, what was it with those damn proverbial butterflies which suddenly materialized in his stomach. And why did Castiel's voice sound so incredibly soft and soothing when it was so close to Dean's ear.  
  
Dean turned around and Castiel took his arm off Dean's waist. Since the bed wasn't the biggest, lying close to each other was unavoidable and Dean got a perfect view into deep blue angel eyes. Castiel's hair looked like a mess and Dean couldn't hold back a mischievous grin. Especially not when his gaze wandered further down to Castiel's neck, his collarbones and naked chest and he spotted more than one deep red mark on his skin. How should anyone keep his cool when waking up to such a pleasant view.  
  
"Dean?" Castiel interrupted his starring, his voice was carrying some sort of uncertainty. "You… don't regret this, do you?"  
  
…What?  
  
Dean frowned at the sudden question. Did Castiel really fear that? After all those heated, passionate kisses and everything they've shared last night? Or more like, almost until dawn. It's been a short night. But also, the best Dean had ever had. All he could think was how he could have missed this over all those years. How he didn't notice earlier what _he_ truly felt. What _his_ true happiness was. He didn't even care about questioning his sexuality or any other unnecessary bullshit right now. All that mattered was that Castiel was here with him. Alive and by his side.  
  
Without a word, he reached out both hands to cup Castiel's face and kiss him.  
  
Castiel let out a relieved sigh and then his hand was back on Dean's waist. It felt warm under their shared blanket. Warm and… just right. As if it was always meant to be like this.  
  
"Damn you, stupid angel…" Dean mumbled after their kiss and let his forehead rest against Castiel's. "You almost missed this, you know? Just because you gave up without even trying. Should've told me way earlier."  
  
Castiel didn't answer right away. He just looked around a bit nervously, searching for an answer. Then he shifted closer, his cheek touching Dean's before he kissed his ear. "I didn't think it could lead to this," he admitted. "But I'm glad you don't seem to regret what happened last night."  
  
"Pfff-! Regret, my ass!" Dean laughed and ruffled through Castiel's hair. But then he looked up into Castiel's eyes again. Suddenly his expression turned serious.  
  
"Cas…" he started with his brows narrowed. It wasn't difficult to find the right words. They were already unmistakably clear in his head by now. But saying them was on a different level. It was important, and he needed to make that clear. "I love you, too."  
  
Castiel looked at him quietly, eyes not letting go of Dean's. A soft smile formed on his lips.  
  
"And I swear," Dean continued, cupping Castiel's face again. "If you ever dare to make a deal for your life ever again, I'm gonna kill you by myself, got it?"  
  
Castiel started laughing. "Understood."  
  
" _I'll_ be your one and only deal from now on, like it or not!"  
  
Castiel nodded and pulled him into a hug. "I accept."

**Author's Note:**

> On a scale from "They deserve to be together" to "They deserve to be together", how much did you like my version of them ending up together? 😏


End file.
